Human kind (that is us!!) seems to have real trouble with existing for a few years running without any war. Just look at any history book. We all got neighbours, after all, and sometimes they just get TOO irritating.
Here's a solution to end all bloodshed but still allow the steam to go off - let's start the Internet World War I!
We'll take all the fuming, testosterone packed politicians and we'll install them in cyber headquarters. Then everybody able to hold the mouse will be drafted as a common soldier. We'll choose the Allies and the Axis (because you have to have teams!) and we'll let them shoot computer viruses at each other. Or create a gigantic battlefield - forum, where they (us!) will be allowed to throw abuses at each other without any moderation. The most witty punches will be rewarded with extra points.
We may even create a huge, World of Warcraft style virtual battle arena and let them all hit each other with sticks. Or anything else.
There has to be jury, too - after all who will reward point? Geneva is boring, let's have an X-Factor style judging board. I suggest Sid Meiers (if you happen not to know - he's THE creator of Civilisation game), Bill Gates and - oh well - Simon Cowell (he may not know anything about cyber wars but at least everyone will be laughing at his venomous comments). Mothers and children can send text messages (=amunition packages) with their votes, and the incomes will be used to fund pizza for computer-bound soldiers.
Atomic bombs will not be allowed, because they get too many players disconnected.
There will be cyber-spies, cyber-snipers, cyper-sappers, cyber-commandoes and cyber-everything.
IT specialists, as the most important units, will get extra cyber in their title (as in cyber-cyber-specialists), but to keep it as real as possible - they won't do any real work, they'll just hang around thinking up pranks to keep the troops amused.
Ain't that better than Hiroshima?
PS. All rights reserved. If you ever decide to go and fight the cybernetic world war, remember I thought of it first and you pay royalties to me!
Sincerely yours
General Cyber-Cyber-Cyber
