Solar storms are getting more and more publicity as we're going further into 2012. You know why, doomsayers and apocalyptic crows are working hard to scare the hell out of everybody and solar weather is one of the more scientific 'tools' at their command. It actually IS dangerous, kind of.
I've been into solar storms for quite a while now. No, I'm not an astrophysicist, even straightforward physics in high school was a nightmare for me, but sun flares and the whole space weather phenomenon is fascinating and I've been learning as much as I can. Even learning physics is digestable when fueled by passion :).
Anyway, I've put together two websites about the Sun and its frolics (so far) - one about solar storms, the other about their influence on human beings. You be the judge if they are any useful, I can only tell you that they were pleasure to create.
I am usually rather ineffective at traffic driving. I avoid social media like the plague, and I'm allergic to the language of advertising - hence my traffic tends to be rather low. Unless... a solar storm happens :).
Solar storms and technology do not go too well together. I imagine an extreme case could knock my laptop out for good, so I wouldn't go so far as saying that I'm looking forward to them. But - over last two days, when space weather is rather inclement, my traffic on the 'cosmic' pages increased by 300%. With some autoirony I have to explain that it jumped from 2 to 8 pageviews... but it's still an improvement, yes?
So - dear Sun, thank you so much for your flares! Flare more, if you please - with moderation.
To give you some details about recent activity - there was an X5 flare produced on March 7th (which happens to be my birthday as well, haha) and it sparked minor to moderate storms (5-7 on 9-point scale) over the following days. One is on even at this very moment, but since my laptop is not emitting any sparks, I'm not worried.
Hope your tech gadgets are just as unaffected.
Friday, 9 March 2012
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
A washing up story
A deep thought flashed through my head recently (yes, it does happen sometimes). I was engaged in the thrilling activity of dishwashing and suddenly remembered all those TV ads, where thick layers of burnt grease dissolved instantaneously under a single drop of the washing-up liquid advertised. 'A lovely vision' I thought, ceasing scrubbing a pan to wipe the sweat from my brow. One little problem. I've washed a few pans in my life, not even mentioning baking trays, roasting dishes and innumerable armies of other assorted crockery, I've even used various washing-up liquids (some of them even known from tv ads) and never, NEVER have I seen such a magical scene unfolding. No grease of mine has ever been scared by a detergent, no matter how famous or well branded. Somehow, it always ended up with scrubbing. Is it me, I wonder? Is my world somehow flawed? Am I the only house-keeping woman in the world whose dishes stubbornly refuse to get cleaned by themselves? Is it a curse? An evil godmother's gift? 'No dishwashing miracles for you, my child' whispered slyly at my birth?
Funny thing - I don't think so. I find it far, far more likely that the advertisers simply try to stuff us full of bullshit. No dishes clean themselves, no matter what you pour on them, full stop. But if a poor, tired housewife believed they could, that the solution to greasy problems is only those few dollars (euros/pounds/enter your currency here) away, wouldn't she buy? Wouldn't she?
Another funny thing, I've never actually met any dish-washing person (whatever the sex or occupation) who believed this crap. I'm not a particularly sociable person, but of all the people I've ever met, not a single one declared belief in self-cleaning kitchen appliances. It is of course possible that so far I have been lucky enough to meet only highly intelligent people and didn't realise it but... Well, let's call it a statistical improbability, ok? I meet various people, most of them - average. Yet they still don't believe in the magic of washing-up liquid.
I would even hazard a guess that no one believes it. Or - as with Yeti or Bigfoot - there are individuals who believe in their existence, but the majority calls it a bluff for lack of evidence. No confirmed sightings, ladies and gentleman.
Yet the advertisers keep on insisting that their (and only their, mind you) particular brand will make the grease go away. No effort, no scrubbing, splash a drop and see how all the dirt goes away.
They keep on lying. We keep on knowing that they are lying. We keep on not believing them, more than that, we keep on NOT EXPECTING THEM TO BE TRUE ANYMORE. Everyone knows that you cannot trust advertisement so no one does. Yet it is still being manufactured by the tonne (eee... mega-tv-hour? giga-newspaper-column?), it is bought, sold, force-fed to unwilling recipients: tv viewers, magazine readers, Web-users, even innocent pedestrians or drivers, FFS!
Guess what, if I feel like fairy tales, I read brothers Grimm. At least they don't ask me to buy a fairy afterwards.
Funny thing - I don't think so. I find it far, far more likely that the advertisers simply try to stuff us full of bullshit. No dishes clean themselves, no matter what you pour on them, full stop. But if a poor, tired housewife believed they could, that the solution to greasy problems is only those few dollars (euros/pounds/enter your currency here) away, wouldn't she buy? Wouldn't she?
Another funny thing, I've never actually met any dish-washing person (whatever the sex or occupation) who believed this crap. I'm not a particularly sociable person, but of all the people I've ever met, not a single one declared belief in self-cleaning kitchen appliances. It is of course possible that so far I have been lucky enough to meet only highly intelligent people and didn't realise it but... Well, let's call it a statistical improbability, ok? I meet various people, most of them - average. Yet they still don't believe in the magic of washing-up liquid.
I would even hazard a guess that no one believes it. Or - as with Yeti or Bigfoot - there are individuals who believe in their existence, but the majority calls it a bluff for lack of evidence. No confirmed sightings, ladies and gentleman.
Yet the advertisers keep on insisting that their (and only their, mind you) particular brand will make the grease go away. No effort, no scrubbing, splash a drop and see how all the dirt goes away.
They keep on lying. We keep on knowing that they are lying. We keep on not believing them, more than that, we keep on NOT EXPECTING THEM TO BE TRUE ANYMORE. Everyone knows that you cannot trust advertisement so no one does. Yet it is still being manufactured by the tonne (eee... mega-tv-hour? giga-newspaper-column?), it is bought, sold, force-fed to unwilling recipients: tv viewers, magazine readers, Web-users, even innocent pedestrians or drivers, FFS!
Guess what, if I feel like fairy tales, I read brothers Grimm. At least they don't ask me to buy a fairy afterwards.
Saturday, 4 February 2012
There shall be NO Valentine story
Drat, it's happening again. Another highly marketable 'celebration' coming up and I'm scared to open my fridge again, the likelihood that someone in heart-covered suit will jump out and try to sell me something being so high. All the local shops are invaded by various shades of red and pink, all the headlines include the V-word and it looks like other things simply don't exist anymore - if it's not heart-shaped, it doesn't count.
Yuck.
Love is beautiful and sweet and probably the most important thing in every individual's life, agreed. But what gets me frothing are people who pretend to glorify love while manufacturing monuments to - yeah, you've guessed it - moneymaking. I suppose love of money can be just as strong as any other love or can it? Is it just me or something stinks in the whole enterprise?
When it is not about the money, it's cheesy as hell. I've seen some appeals to 'share your personal love story' recently. Oh my. I'm sure your love story is unique to you, special, precious, blah blah, but to me (and countless other Internet users) it is hardly interesting and painfully cheesy. I've read a few such concoctions in my time and well - I will never make this mistake again.
And I will most certainly not share mine. Love is special, unique, precious - because it is INTIMATE, PRIVATE, PERSONAL, it is some amazing magic shared between me and the Other. None of this things goes hand in hand with hundreds of strangers reading it, judging it and commenting upon it!!!!
So no, there shall be no Valentine story today, or any other day. There shall be patient counting the days down until the madness subsides...
...and Mothering Day craze begins. Or Paddy's Day. Or any money-generating 'celebration'.
Yuck.
Love is beautiful and sweet and probably the most important thing in every individual's life, agreed. But what gets me frothing are people who pretend to glorify love while manufacturing monuments to - yeah, you've guessed it - moneymaking. I suppose love of money can be just as strong as any other love or can it? Is it just me or something stinks in the whole enterprise?
When it is not about the money, it's cheesy as hell. I've seen some appeals to 'share your personal love story' recently. Oh my. I'm sure your love story is unique to you, special, precious, blah blah, but to me (and countless other Internet users) it is hardly interesting and painfully cheesy. I've read a few such concoctions in my time and well - I will never make this mistake again.
And I will most certainly not share mine. Love is special, unique, precious - because it is INTIMATE, PRIVATE, PERSONAL, it is some amazing magic shared between me and the Other. None of this things goes hand in hand with hundreds of strangers reading it, judging it and commenting upon it!!!!
So no, there shall be no Valentine story today, or any other day. There shall be patient counting the days down until the madness subsides...
...and Mothering Day craze begins. Or Paddy's Day. Or any money-generating 'celebration'.
Saturday, 21 January 2012
No bullshit marketing
I've been working on concept of 'no bullshit marketing' for quite a while now.
The whole idea was born from the fact that I'm literally sick because of the amount of crap advertising all around. The very word SALE gives me nausea, as it is slowly becoming the case with words like 'unique', 'hot', 'bargain' and the likes. The smell of bullshit surrounding them lingers stubbornly and can fuel my anger for hours at a time.
Ok, fine, but it's damn easy to say something is crappy and do nothing about it and I'm being a bit more ambitious here - I feel a need to suggest something INSTEAD of bullshit marketing. After all I also have a product to 'sell' - I'm a content writer and my very existence depends on my content finding a reader. If I don't talk about it, I am extremely unlikely to be found and there is not much I can do or say to make it less true (a friend of mine keeps suggesting that I show my tits off online - what a shame this is not my style, as it would probably work).
Here comes a difficult question: how to promote my own work knowing how much I hate people promoting their stuff? It looks impossible from the black/white perspective, at first sight the choice is between forgetting conscience and joining the worldwide crap production or quitting self-employment altogether and becoming a cog in someone else's machine (which would probably still equal producing crap, but I would at least have an excuse - someone made me do it!). Neither option looked even remotely interesting, but instead of giving up, I decided to dig deeper.
What if the way a product/service is promoted mattered? I looked closely at other people's marketing strategies and tried to determine some factors that drive me up the wall and guess what I've found - it's definitely not the fact that they do advertise and expect to be paid. Gosh, I don't have a slightest problem with that, just the opposite! So where was the culprit?
Right there, in most promoting materials available, and his name was BULLSHIT.
I hate being lied to. I hate when someone tries to bullshit me for any reason. I refuse to have anything to do with a person or a company who tries to manipulate me and deceive me from the moment we meet. I bet I'm not the only one - possibly I'm slightly more aware of this manipulation, but I'm sure most people would be just as angry as I if they only bothered to notice what's happening around them.
I have already written an article on how to translate bullshit advertising and what do the sellers REALLY tell their customers. You can find it here if you wish - I am quite happy with the way it turned out and I can promise you a laugh or two - so I'm not going to repeat myself in too many words. The biggest, most basic and most hurtful bullshit present in almost all existing advertising is this: we are here for you.
Oh? Are you? So if you win the lottery tomorrow, you will not leave your selling work immediately but continue writing marketing material FOR THE FUN OF IT? Rubbish.
I will believe no seller in the whole wide world who tries to feed me with lines like 'chosen for your satisfaction' and 'our aim is to serve'. What is wrong with saying: I am in this job to earn cash to survive? It is not something shameful, FFS! It's a fact of life - we need money to survive, earn or starve. If a seller believes in providing only high quality service to actually deserve the pay - fantastic. Talk about it! Say it loud and proud, it's a noble aim. But 'we are here to make you happy'? No, thank you, I'm not buying.
I still have a lot to think through before my idea is present in some shape, but I already know one basic, important rule that will be incorporated somewhere in the system: NEVER LIE. Never. Ever. Don't manipulate, don't 'forget' about facts, don't keep the ugly details secret. Transform them, so that you wouldn't have to feel ashamed talking about them. Then talk, with pride.
What do you think? Would you like to live in a world where you could actually believe advertisers instead of being perpetually on the lookout for the small print?
I know I would. And because I vividly remember Gandhi's words 'Be the change you want to see in the world', I'm commiting myself to create a no bullshit marketing strategy.
Wish me luck and hop on if it's your type of a ride.
The whole idea was born from the fact that I'm literally sick because of the amount of crap advertising all around. The very word SALE gives me nausea, as it is slowly becoming the case with words like 'unique', 'hot', 'bargain' and the likes. The smell of bullshit surrounding them lingers stubbornly and can fuel my anger for hours at a time.
Ok, fine, but it's damn easy to say something is crappy and do nothing about it and I'm being a bit more ambitious here - I feel a need to suggest something INSTEAD of bullshit marketing. After all I also have a product to 'sell' - I'm a content writer and my very existence depends on my content finding a reader. If I don't talk about it, I am extremely unlikely to be found and there is not much I can do or say to make it less true (a friend of mine keeps suggesting that I show my tits off online - what a shame this is not my style, as it would probably work).
Here comes a difficult question: how to promote my own work knowing how much I hate people promoting their stuff? It looks impossible from the black/white perspective, at first sight the choice is between forgetting conscience and joining the worldwide crap production or quitting self-employment altogether and becoming a cog in someone else's machine (which would probably still equal producing crap, but I would at least have an excuse - someone made me do it!). Neither option looked even remotely interesting, but instead of giving up, I decided to dig deeper.
What if the way a product/service is promoted mattered? I looked closely at other people's marketing strategies and tried to determine some factors that drive me up the wall and guess what I've found - it's definitely not the fact that they do advertise and expect to be paid. Gosh, I don't have a slightest problem with that, just the opposite! So where was the culprit?
Right there, in most promoting materials available, and his name was BULLSHIT.
I hate being lied to. I hate when someone tries to bullshit me for any reason. I refuse to have anything to do with a person or a company who tries to manipulate me and deceive me from the moment we meet. I bet I'm not the only one - possibly I'm slightly more aware of this manipulation, but I'm sure most people would be just as angry as I if they only bothered to notice what's happening around them.
I have already written an article on how to translate bullshit advertising and what do the sellers REALLY tell their customers. You can find it here if you wish - I am quite happy with the way it turned out and I can promise you a laugh or two - so I'm not going to repeat myself in too many words. The biggest, most basic and most hurtful bullshit present in almost all existing advertising is this: we are here for you.
Oh? Are you? So if you win the lottery tomorrow, you will not leave your selling work immediately but continue writing marketing material FOR THE FUN OF IT? Rubbish.
I will believe no seller in the whole wide world who tries to feed me with lines like 'chosen for your satisfaction' and 'our aim is to serve'. What is wrong with saying: I am in this job to earn cash to survive? It is not something shameful, FFS! It's a fact of life - we need money to survive, earn or starve. If a seller believes in providing only high quality service to actually deserve the pay - fantastic. Talk about it! Say it loud and proud, it's a noble aim. But 'we are here to make you happy'? No, thank you, I'm not buying.
I still have a lot to think through before my idea is present in some shape, but I already know one basic, important rule that will be incorporated somewhere in the system: NEVER LIE. Never. Ever. Don't manipulate, don't 'forget' about facts, don't keep the ugly details secret. Transform them, so that you wouldn't have to feel ashamed talking about them. Then talk, with pride.
What do you think? Would you like to live in a world where you could actually believe advertisers instead of being perpetually on the lookout for the small print?
I know I would. And because I vividly remember Gandhi's words 'Be the change you want to see in the world', I'm commiting myself to create a no bullshit marketing strategy.
Wish me luck and hop on if it's your type of a ride.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Something to brag about
Aah, finally some recognition. One of my (gorgeous, fabulous and absolutely fantastic, obviously) lenses has made it to the top 100 of 2011 and then was voted even further, to the top 11. The fame! The pride! The glory! The traffic...
The lens in question is titled 50 things you can do to improve the world and is a shameless example of writing something that people will like. Or, a skillful compromise - my real thoughts stripped of all the cynical nastiness. If the world was a nice place, the lens would be 100% honest and truthful. I wonder, does applying some inner censorship makes a piece of writing dishonest? Or maybe I simply was a good girl for suppressing my inner anger at the world's injustice and believing for a second that the said world is worth the effort of saving it?
Anyway, it was awesome to feel seen and appreciated for those three days or so. Traffic was fantastic, feedback very encouraging and overall it felt great.
It is less great to see my five minutes of fame slowly passing by but hey - c'est la vie. I might even keep the rank high enough to actually earn some money off it.
Funny, when you think about it - obviously the lens is good, it wouldn't be chosen if it wasn't. Yet so far, in 6 months of its exinstence, it has earned a staggering $0.87. Just makes you think how Squidoo (and the Internet in general) work...
The lens in question is titled 50 things you can do to improve the world and is a shameless example of writing something that people will like. Or, a skillful compromise - my real thoughts stripped of all the cynical nastiness. If the world was a nice place, the lens would be 100% honest and truthful. I wonder, does applying some inner censorship makes a piece of writing dishonest? Or maybe I simply was a good girl for suppressing my inner anger at the world's injustice and believing for a second that the said world is worth the effort of saving it?
Anyway, it was awesome to feel seen and appreciated for those three days or so. Traffic was fantastic, feedback very encouraging and overall it felt great.
It is less great to see my five minutes of fame slowly passing by but hey - c'est la vie. I might even keep the rank high enough to actually earn some money off it.
Funny, when you think about it - obviously the lens is good, it wouldn't be chosen if it wasn't. Yet so far, in 6 months of its exinstence, it has earned a staggering $0.87. Just makes you think how Squidoo (and the Internet in general) work...
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Oops, I did it again...
Yesterday I woke up and realised that something terrible has happened.
I missed the end of the world.
*
*
*
No, seriously. Remember Harold Camping? The guy I wrote about in Armageddon that Didn't Happen and Apocalypse Schmapocalypse? After his May 21 Rapture failed to materialise, he annouced that it's only 6 months respite and the world will actually end on October 21.
You may have noticed (from the articles above if nothing else) how I'm a huge Camping fan. I find it amazing that the guy preaches, is heard and given money. Real, tangible, cold cash, paid to Camping's organisation in hope of (I presume) redemption before the Big Day. Un-be-lie-va-ble.
With all that, I simply missed the Apocalypse. I didn't notice it happening in any way whatsoever, so... I forgot. I completely ignored the Big Day.
Now, that's the kind of Armageddon I like.
I missed the end of the world.
*
*
*
No, seriously. Remember Harold Camping? The guy I wrote about in Armageddon that Didn't Happen and Apocalypse Schmapocalypse? After his May 21 Rapture failed to materialise, he annouced that it's only 6 months respite and the world will actually end on October 21.
You may have noticed (from the articles above if nothing else) how I'm a huge Camping fan. I find it amazing that the guy preaches, is heard and given money. Real, tangible, cold cash, paid to Camping's organisation in hope of (I presume) redemption before the Big Day. Un-be-lie-va-ble.
With all that, I simply missed the Apocalypse. I didn't notice it happening in any way whatsoever, so... I forgot. I completely ignored the Big Day.
Now, that's the kind of Armageddon I like.
Monday, 12 December 2011
Charitable outrage
Ho, ho, ho, Christmas is almost upon us and so are unnumerable charity collectors with their jingling boxes. No shop entrance is safe anymore, a busy street on a typical day sprouts at least ten of those dearest creatures and I even found a nativity scene in my local Tesco with a poorbox smartly tucked away in the corner. I do get irritated by those charity enforcers. I usually ignore them, but this year I wanted to actually say something about it, hence my lens Charity - to give or not to give?.
I started work on this article only mildly pissed off by the jingling boxes, but I did some research on the subject and what I found out turned me purple with rage. I found a website, 'charity navigator', which evaluates American charities, shows basics of each organisation's accounts and... salary of a top person. I nearly fainted when I saw those figures. $250,000 seems to be a standard pay, but more talented individuals cash in more than half a million bucks. Your bucks, dear reader, the very same money that you gave to this nice looking guy who told you some touching stories about poor kiddies and hungry souls, and how your donation will help save lives.
Yes, well, I agree that saving the children starts with your own home, but I don't think a shark pool is a necessary accessory for healthy growing up. I mean - what do they spend this kind of money on? A diamond studded toilet bowl? A ferrari for each family member?
You know what's the very ugliest thing in the whole business? People who GIVE to charity usually are not very well off themselves. They tend to understand suffering and poverty better, because it's not too far from their own doors. Many, many of them could probably use help of some charity themselves. And it's off their money that CEO's check is being paid.
I don't expect some big fish in a charity organisation to read this post and experience a change of heart - if you do something as disgusting, you probably carry a lump of stone in your chest and appealing to your conscience is no use. Instead, I hope some of you, dear donors, will read this carefully, draw your conclusions and perhaps hesitate before giving. Maybe ask some questions. Find out more about the organisation you want to support.
I tend to follow a simple rule when giving money to charity - if the collector looks better fed than me, I keep my wallet closed.
Oh, I almost forgot. This post is rather stingy on names, figures and other details, but the lens that was born out of all this research is just the opposite. I actually trawled through the list of charities that Squidoo donates to and listed salaries of presidents/CEOs/chairmen of all I could find. Do have a look, it's an eye-opener.
I started work on this article only mildly pissed off by the jingling boxes, but I did some research on the subject and what I found out turned me purple with rage. I found a website, 'charity navigator', which evaluates American charities, shows basics of each organisation's accounts and... salary of a top person. I nearly fainted when I saw those figures. $250,000 seems to be a standard pay, but more talented individuals cash in more than half a million bucks. Your bucks, dear reader, the very same money that you gave to this nice looking guy who told you some touching stories about poor kiddies and hungry souls, and how your donation will help save lives.
Yes, well, I agree that saving the children starts with your own home, but I don't think a shark pool is a necessary accessory for healthy growing up. I mean - what do they spend this kind of money on? A diamond studded toilet bowl? A ferrari for each family member?
You know what's the very ugliest thing in the whole business? People who GIVE to charity usually are not very well off themselves. They tend to understand suffering and poverty better, because it's not too far from their own doors. Many, many of them could probably use help of some charity themselves. And it's off their money that CEO's check is being paid.
I don't expect some big fish in a charity organisation to read this post and experience a change of heart - if you do something as disgusting, you probably carry a lump of stone in your chest and appealing to your conscience is no use. Instead, I hope some of you, dear donors, will read this carefully, draw your conclusions and perhaps hesitate before giving. Maybe ask some questions. Find out more about the organisation you want to support.
I tend to follow a simple rule when giving money to charity - if the collector looks better fed than me, I keep my wallet closed.
Oh, I almost forgot. This post is rather stingy on names, figures and other details, but the lens that was born out of all this research is just the opposite. I actually trawled through the list of charities that Squidoo donates to and listed salaries of presidents/CEOs/chairmen of all I could find. Do have a look, it's an eye-opener.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Inspiration through anger
I find anger inspiring. Am I strange?
No, seriously. Recently I have discovered that disagreement boosts my creativity sky high. I actually noticed it when visiting certain forum - I realised that I find posts I generally agree with extremely boring, but statements I want to argue with make me think like crazy.
A useful piece of self-awareness, if I've ever seen one. At least I can be grateful for all the shouting matches I've been through.
I also enjoy writing angry-ish articles (as you've probably noticed if you've read more of this blog). An obvious consequence of boosted creativity, I suppose.
Just to make it clear - angry doesn't necessarily mean rude (I have another outlet for that). I can even get away with G rating most of the time :).
It's impossible to look around and NOT TO get angry, I'm afraid. I think it's ok - if you channel your anger, it helps you change things.
My recent favourite anger source is unethical advertising. I'm right after publishing a full-fledged article titled 'How not to fall for bullshit advertising' (bullshit spelled BS for censorship reasons) and I'm actually quite proud of it. I think I will work some more on the subject. While ranting is extremely pleasant, I also have some solutions in mind - I'm researching the subject of ethical, decent advertising. We'll see where it gets me.
A note to you, dear reader - when I'm angry, I tend to be funny, so if you feel like being entertained, do check one of my Squidoo rants. So far I have been publicly spewing venom at the Internet, job interviews, apocalypse scares, halloween and Internet users' inability to criticise.
I also write 'nice' articles', but rants are so much more interesting!
No, seriously. Recently I have discovered that disagreement boosts my creativity sky high. I actually noticed it when visiting certain forum - I realised that I find posts I generally agree with extremely boring, but statements I want to argue with make me think like crazy.
A useful piece of self-awareness, if I've ever seen one. At least I can be grateful for all the shouting matches I've been through.
I also enjoy writing angry-ish articles (as you've probably noticed if you've read more of this blog). An obvious consequence of boosted creativity, I suppose.
Just to make it clear - angry doesn't necessarily mean rude (I have another outlet for that). I can even get away with G rating most of the time :).
It's impossible to look around and NOT TO get angry, I'm afraid. I think it's ok - if you channel your anger, it helps you change things.
My recent favourite anger source is unethical advertising. I'm right after publishing a full-fledged article titled 'How not to fall for bullshit advertising' (bullshit spelled BS for censorship reasons) and I'm actually quite proud of it. I think I will work some more on the subject. While ranting is extremely pleasant, I also have some solutions in mind - I'm researching the subject of ethical, decent advertising. We'll see where it gets me.
A note to you, dear reader - when I'm angry, I tend to be funny, so if you feel like being entertained, do check one of my Squidoo rants. So far I have been publicly spewing venom at the Internet, job interviews, apocalypse scares, halloween and Internet users' inability to criticise.
I also write 'nice' articles', but rants are so much more interesting!
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Christmas. Rubbish.
Blah, it's that time of the year again. Jingle damn bells and purses, buy, buy, buy, all in the name of our saviour. Yuck.
You know, I can quite live with Christmas itself. It lasts ONE DAY (say two if you will. Say three. Say even twelve, it's still far far away from what we're being served in all public spaces - if, due to salespeople of this world, Christmas starts on November 2nd, by the end of the month I'm sick of this stupid holiday and by the day itself I get a rash at the very sight of a Christmas tree. It's all your fault, Mr. Salesman!). It means mainly spending some time with my close family, with bloody good food in the background, with a possible walk along the blissfully empty streets later on. Fine by me. But...
I don't get excited by the whole show. I mean, what's so damn special about stupid tinsel (or holly, or stockings or whatever is the coolest Christmas gadget where you live)? I was happily buying the whole story until I was about 6 years old. Then I moved on. We live and learn. At least, some of us do...
I'm the least likely person in the world to fall a victim of Christmas advertisers. I'm simply bullshit-proof, at least when it comes to marketing, advertising and the likes. Even if I wasn't - most of the stuff on offer is so terribly, painfully kitschy and crappy that I have trouble believing someone actually buys it. Well, they do. Whatever happened to you, dear world... Anyway, if I'm committed NOT TO buy a thing before Christmas, why on Earth am I still bombarded with Christmas advertising? (And I don't really care whether you disguise it as an 'informative article' or not.) Why I cannot walk the street, visit a cafe or greengrocer's, read a paper, or check the Web without seeing or hearing Christmas advertising?
Now, a few messages for the businesspeople out there:
1. If I hear a Christmas carol coming from your shop, I won't enter unless I absolutely have to
2. If you try to sell me the 'Christmas spirit' bullshit, you will authomatically get onto my 'avoid' list
3. I will never buy anything marked as 'Christmas special'. I KNOW you're trying to rip me off, sunshine.
I know many people who think and act likewise. I will do my best to ensure there's more and more of them, so that they can spread the idea even further.
Consider yourself warned.
You know, I can quite live with Christmas itself. It lasts ONE DAY (say two if you will. Say three. Say even twelve, it's still far far away from what we're being served in all public spaces - if, due to salespeople of this world, Christmas starts on November 2nd, by the end of the month I'm sick of this stupid holiday and by the day itself I get a rash at the very sight of a Christmas tree. It's all your fault, Mr. Salesman!). It means mainly spending some time with my close family, with bloody good food in the background, with a possible walk along the blissfully empty streets later on. Fine by me. But...
I don't get excited by the whole show. I mean, what's so damn special about stupid tinsel (or holly, or stockings or whatever is the coolest Christmas gadget where you live)? I was happily buying the whole story until I was about 6 years old. Then I moved on. We live and learn. At least, some of us do...
I'm the least likely person in the world to fall a victim of Christmas advertisers. I'm simply bullshit-proof, at least when it comes to marketing, advertising and the likes. Even if I wasn't - most of the stuff on offer is so terribly, painfully kitschy and crappy that I have trouble believing someone actually buys it. Well, they do. Whatever happened to you, dear world... Anyway, if I'm committed NOT TO buy a thing before Christmas, why on Earth am I still bombarded with Christmas advertising? (And I don't really care whether you disguise it as an 'informative article' or not.) Why I cannot walk the street, visit a cafe or greengrocer's, read a paper, or check the Web without seeing or hearing Christmas advertising?
Now, a few messages for the businesspeople out there:
1. If I hear a Christmas carol coming from your shop, I won't enter unless I absolutely have to
2. If you try to sell me the 'Christmas spirit' bullshit, you will authomatically get onto my 'avoid' list
3. I will never buy anything marked as 'Christmas special'. I KNOW you're trying to rip me off, sunshine.
I know many people who think and act likewise. I will do my best to ensure there's more and more of them, so that they can spread the idea even further.
Consider yourself warned.
Sunday, 6 November 2011
How... boring
A question to all those SEO magicians and web millionaires out there - don't you find it extremely boring??? By 'it' I mean doing all those necessary things to bring traffic to your sites (paid advertisement excluded).
As probably every single webmaster in the world, sometimes I get frustrated by extremely low traffic. A long cursing session is my first aid, but once I've let some steam off, I usually surf around for phrases like 'How to increase traffic' etc. Tips I'm finding are usually pretty much the same: go on Facebook, Twitter, blah blah, be active in the forums, comment on other blogs, submit to directories and so on, ad infinitum. Yeah, right.
I'm not saying it wouldn't work. It might as well. Only it's... so. damn. extremely. BORING!!!
I don't know how it works with other people, but I'm not turned on by shallow socialising. I don't even get close to social networking websites because guess what - all they are is only one big popularity contest. I mean - what the hell, has the whole world suddenly turned into a permanent high school? One would think people grow out of it...
Nope. Apparently they don't.
The whole idea of being active on other blogs, forums etc... I thought leaving comments with the sole purpose of getting backlinks is considered SPAM? Well, of course, you're supposed to PRETEND you're very interested and radiate the oh-no-I'm-not-here-to-get-you-to-visit-my-website-at-all attitude. So, in other words, spam like hell but don't let anyone catch you and never, ever admit you're spamming.
Or directories and other article submission places. Write a short article about nothing (because come on, most of web content is just a lot of blah blah, served in politically correct sauce), then write ANOTHER article on how you wrote the article about nothing and perhaps write an article on writing an article on writing an article... Is this really how it's supposed to go?
How come nobody ever, EVER, mentions things like
- learn to write better. It doesn't mean you're not good, it only means you can get better, right? What's wrong with being a better wordsmith? Guess what, nobody seems to care, ha ha.
- think about your own web-browsing behavior. Think what you're rewarding with your traffic and your attention.
- how come we are all allowed to praise anything to high heaven (regardless of its worth) but any critique is met with howling dogs of communal fury? If this trend continues, I'm going to commit my life to browsing the web and leaving nasty comments on weak websites. Simply because nobody else dares to do it.
And so on.
Writing is great. Interacting with people is - well, if not great, then at least stimulating. Interacting with traffic gatherers is surrounded by a very nasty stench.
So how about - think twice before you publish another article on 'How to bring more traffic to your website'?
Please?
As probably every single webmaster in the world, sometimes I get frustrated by extremely low traffic. A long cursing session is my first aid, but once I've let some steam off, I usually surf around for phrases like 'How to increase traffic' etc. Tips I'm finding are usually pretty much the same: go on Facebook, Twitter, blah blah, be active in the forums, comment on other blogs, submit to directories and so on, ad infinitum. Yeah, right.
I'm not saying it wouldn't work. It might as well. Only it's... so. damn. extremely. BORING!!!
I don't know how it works with other people, but I'm not turned on by shallow socialising. I don't even get close to social networking websites because guess what - all they are is only one big popularity contest. I mean - what the hell, has the whole world suddenly turned into a permanent high school? One would think people grow out of it...
Nope. Apparently they don't.
The whole idea of being active on other blogs, forums etc... I thought leaving comments with the sole purpose of getting backlinks is considered SPAM? Well, of course, you're supposed to PRETEND you're very interested and radiate the oh-no-I'm-not-here-to-get-you-to-visit-my-website-at-all attitude. So, in other words, spam like hell but don't let anyone catch you and never, ever admit you're spamming.
Or directories and other article submission places. Write a short article about nothing (because come on, most of web content is just a lot of blah blah, served in politically correct sauce), then write ANOTHER article on how you wrote the article about nothing and perhaps write an article on writing an article on writing an article... Is this really how it's supposed to go?
How come nobody ever, EVER, mentions things like
- learn to write better. It doesn't mean you're not good, it only means you can get better, right? What's wrong with being a better wordsmith? Guess what, nobody seems to care, ha ha.
- think about your own web-browsing behavior. Think what you're rewarding with your traffic and your attention.
- how come we are all allowed to praise anything to high heaven (regardless of its worth) but any critique is met with howling dogs of communal fury? If this trend continues, I'm going to commit my life to browsing the web and leaving nasty comments on weak websites. Simply because nobody else dares to do it.
And so on.
Writing is great. Interacting with people is - well, if not great, then at least stimulating. Interacting with traffic gatherers is surrounded by a very nasty stench.
So how about - think twice before you publish another article on 'How to bring more traffic to your website'?
Please?
Monday, 12 September 2011
Fantasy vs sci-fi
For reasons unknown, libraries and bookshops stubbornly keep on placing sci-fi and fantasy books on the same shelf. I would very much like to know the origins of this custom, find whoever started it and kick his or her ass very severely. It may be undestandable to some extent, but it is also so. damn. irritating.
Anyway, which genre do you prefer? I tend to have mixed feelings here. Book-wise - fantasy all the way, no doubt about it (if only because Terry Pratchett belongs here), but when it comes to movies... With the possible exception of Lord of the Rings, fantasy movies more often than not prove to be disappointing. Aliens are so photogenic :)
What are your own preferences? If you want to speak your mind (and see what others have to say), follow this link and join the epic battle.
Anyway, which genre do you prefer? I tend to have mixed feelings here. Book-wise - fantasy all the way, no doubt about it (if only because Terry Pratchett belongs here), but when it comes to movies... With the possible exception of Lord of the Rings, fantasy movies more often than not prove to be disappointing. Aliens are so photogenic :)
What are your own preferences? If you want to speak your mind (and see what others have to say), follow this link and join the epic battle.
Saturday, 10 September 2011
How to survive Ryanair flight
Have you ever flown with Ryanair?
If you have - well, you probably already know all there is to know about this infamous airline.
If you haven't - here's the list of basic facts:
- Ryanair is an Irish airline, operating in western Europe
- It is probably the cheapest and the worst airline in the world
- It is famous for scandalous advertising and impoliteness of the crew
I once flew from Shannon to Bristol for 4 euros, both ways. No more fees included, just 4 euros, and that is why I will always defend their status as the rock bottom cheap airline, howgh. Just keep in mind that bargains like this are an exception, not norm. And, obviously, the journey was a nightmare.
Flights for 50 p are fabulously described in this video, which made me laugh like insane. Highly recommendable.
If you want to know more, follow this link.
If you have - well, you probably already know all there is to know about this infamous airline.
If you haven't - here's the list of basic facts:
- Ryanair is an Irish airline, operating in western Europe
- It is probably the cheapest and the worst airline in the world
- It is famous for scandalous advertising and impoliteness of the crew
I once flew from Shannon to Bristol for 4 euros, both ways. No more fees included, just 4 euros, and that is why I will always defend their status as the rock bottom cheap airline, howgh. Just keep in mind that bargains like this are an exception, not norm. And, obviously, the journey was a nightmare.
Flights for 50 p are fabulously described in this video, which made me laugh like insane. Highly recommendable.
If you want to know more, follow this link.
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Probably the easiest rhubarb cake in the world
The humble rhubarb deserves more recognition, wouldn't you agree? Once it grows, it grows like hell and it can be turned into variety of yummy desserts. Yeah, right, everyone knows that.
I tend to get those baking urges from time to time. Rhubarb being in season plus me shopping for veggies equals a big, red-stalked bunch in my kitchen. Usually by the time it gets there, my enthusiasm expires and the thing to do is to utilise it in the fastest and easiest of possible ways. This recipe comes to rescue.
The article itself took got written during the cake's short stay in the oven. I was pissed off and exhausted after writing some really long piece, and I wanted something quick and effective, and I wanted it NOW.
Guess what, both the cake and the article proved a treat.
I tend to get those baking urges from time to time. Rhubarb being in season plus me shopping for veggies equals a big, red-stalked bunch in my kitchen. Usually by the time it gets there, my enthusiasm expires and the thing to do is to utilise it in the fastest and easiest of possible ways. This recipe comes to rescue.
The article itself took got written during the cake's short stay in the oven. I was pissed off and exhausted after writing some really long piece, and I wanted something quick and effective, and I wanted it NOW.
Guess what, both the cake and the article proved a treat.
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
200 views!!!
Guess what, I'm getting there. I've just hit 200 views on this blog and I believe it deserves a little dance.
No, I will not host a giveaway to celebrate that. In theory I should, as here I'm allowed to use all the dirty marketing tricks to get traffic/money/fame/villa in Jamaica but guess what - I simply can't digest the language I would have to use. Ooooh, what an opportunity, giving things away for free, just to express my joy, no, it has nothing to do with getting traffic, nothing whatsoever.
But 200 views is cool. Even if these are just accidental 'hit and run' views. The Blog to Make me Money is serving its purpose - it doesn't make me a penny, but it's a lovely dumping platform for all the ad-ish links that would need some skillful lie to place elsewhere.
Oh, if you need some backlinks, my offer of placing them here is still open. Review for review is the current rate.
Dear 200, keep coming.
No, I will not host a giveaway to celebrate that. In theory I should, as here I'm allowed to use all the dirty marketing tricks to get traffic/money/fame/villa in Jamaica but guess what - I simply can't digest the language I would have to use. Ooooh, what an opportunity, giving things away for free, just to express my joy, no, it has nothing to do with getting traffic, nothing whatsoever.
But 200 views is cool. Even if these are just accidental 'hit and run' views. The Blog to Make me Money is serving its purpose - it doesn't make me a penny, but it's a lovely dumping platform for all the ad-ish links that would need some skillful lie to place elsewhere.
Oh, if you need some backlinks, my offer of placing them here is still open. Review for review is the current rate.
Dear 200, keep coming.
I love red
I do! Oh, so much!
If I could wear only one colour, it would be red. If I ever had my own house, my bedroom walls would be red. And bedsheets, too. My car is red (ok, that's purely coincidental). Red, red, red, all the way.
No wonder then that this article appeared in my collection. Funny enough, it all started with those %#&@ bedsheets. Red. Satin. That I don't have but would love to have one day. I obsessed about it for a week or so and finally decided to vent it off by writing about it. Thinking cap on, buzzzz, buzzzz, how to turn the idea into an interesting article....
I believe I ended up without a single word on bedsheets. No public domain pics to suit my needs. But there's plenty of other things red. If you love red too, go check it out.
If I could wear only one colour, it would be red. If I ever had my own house, my bedroom walls would be red. And bedsheets, too. My car is red (ok, that's purely coincidental). Red, red, red, all the way.
No wonder then that this article appeared in my collection. Funny enough, it all started with those %#&@ bedsheets. Red. Satin. That I don't have but would love to have one day. I obsessed about it for a week or so and finally decided to vent it off by writing about it. Thinking cap on, buzzzz, buzzzz, how to turn the idea into an interesting article....
I believe I ended up without a single word on bedsheets. No public domain pics to suit my needs. But there's plenty of other things red. If you love red too, go check it out.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Porto Zoo - Zoo da Maia
My inner child loves zoos. Whenever I travel, whether it's to cold England or to frying Portugal, I tend to end up in the local zoo. Not surprising then, when a trip to Porto came along, Zoo da Maia was on my itinerary.
It's not so easy to get to, if you believe the local tourist office. For some mysterious reason, the travel people completely fail to market this pleasant and interesting zoo, focusing instead on innumerable Douro cruises and wine cellars.
I may understand a retired German tourist feeling otherwise, but from my point of view - why on Earth would I want to visit a wine cellar? BO-RING! Now a zoo, that's entirely different matter...
Lady behind the desk in Porto's main tourist office gave me a strange look when I asked about the zoo. She went on to explain how it's impossible to get there without a car and how it's nothing special anyway. Rubbish, all the way! A short metro ride gets you almost to the gates of the zoo, and as to the entertainment potential - I loved it. I described it in detail here, but if you don't feel like reading a proper review, let me just tell you that the place was full of shade-giving trees, the animals were presented in a very approachable way, seal show was delightful and the whole thing was reasonably priced.
It remains unknown why the tourist office clerks want to strip your stay in Porto from all the fun (although I do have my suspicions).
It's not so easy to get to, if you believe the local tourist office. For some mysterious reason, the travel people completely fail to market this pleasant and interesting zoo, focusing instead on innumerable Douro cruises and wine cellars.
I may understand a retired German tourist feeling otherwise, but from my point of view - why on Earth would I want to visit a wine cellar? BO-RING! Now a zoo, that's entirely different matter...
Lady behind the desk in Porto's main tourist office gave me a strange look when I asked about the zoo. She went on to explain how it's impossible to get there without a car and how it's nothing special anyway. Rubbish, all the way! A short metro ride gets you almost to the gates of the zoo, and as to the entertainment potential - I loved it. I described it in detail here, but if you don't feel like reading a proper review, let me just tell you that the place was full of shade-giving trees, the animals were presented in a very approachable way, seal show was delightful and the whole thing was reasonably priced.
It remains unknown why the tourist office clerks want to strip your stay in Porto from all the fun (although I do have my suspicions).
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Armageddon that didn't happen
Armageddon and all sorts of Apocalypses are some of my favourite subjects. I love catastrophic movies, and I have this particular trait - I dream in disasters. Earthquakes, volcanoes, wars, plane crashes, pandemies, tsunamis, you name it - my dreams have it all. Once I was rather scared by all this mayhem and woke shuddering every second night or so, now I got used to my dreaming patterns and treat it more like my very own movie theatre.
I follow a few volcanic/catastrophic blogs and watched BBC non stop for a day or two right after the Japanese earthquake happened. Disasters are awe-inspiring in their power. I even wrote an article listing the likely and the unlikely ways in which the end of our times may arrive.
But I draw a line at Harold Campings of this world. Long before Camping's promised Rapture Day, I was wondering - where will the poor guy hide on May 22nd? Or will he be cheeky enough to emerge in public and say something like - oops, miscalculation (guess what - he did just that!).
Anyway, May 21st came and went, and I vented my feelings here, right after the ominous date.
I follow a few volcanic/catastrophic blogs and watched BBC non stop for a day or two right after the Japanese earthquake happened. Disasters are awe-inspiring in their power. I even wrote an article listing the likely and the unlikely ways in which the end of our times may arrive.
But I draw a line at Harold Campings of this world. Long before Camping's promised Rapture Day, I was wondering - where will the poor guy hide on May 22nd? Or will he be cheeky enough to emerge in public and say something like - oops, miscalculation (guess what - he did just that!).
Anyway, May 21st came and went, and I vented my feelings here, right after the ominous date.
Monday, 18 July 2011
How to make great coffee
Coffee and me go back a long time and our relationship has been pretty stormy. There was a time, good few years ago, when coffee was not enough - I implemented the daily intake of caffeine with 3-4 energy drinks which (you can probably guess) only left me poorer and craving for more. There was a long period of rather bland, boring, but oh-so-quick instant coffee - two spoonfuls of coffee powder, two of sugar, fill half with water and half with milk, drink by the bucket.
Then there was another time when I divorced my coffee completely - I was on 3-4 cups of coffee during an office day and it made me feel invariably awful. For a short while I've become an anti-caffeine zealot, not only abstaining from drinking any, but also preaching near and far on eternal damnation unless you quit NOW. I do tend to be weird.
Then two things happened and suddenly coffee stopped being a menace. My days in the office were over, and so was constant stress that goes arm in arm with corporate employment. And I discovered the French press.
Instant coffee is a thing that happens to me very rarely these days and I don't miss it one bit. Now, the glorious, pitch-black liquid that pours out of my French press each morning.... Mmmmm... I don't get out of bed without it (not for longer that it takes to make it, that is). It's not even the caffeine (although I did read that the content is disctinctly higher than that of the instant mud) - it's a feast for the senses. Taste, smell, bitterish smoothness warming my mouth - it was an instant addiction. Trust me, there is no better coffee than French pressed coffee*. Try it out.
*Ok, pressure brewing may rival French press. But it's a question of spending 10 bucks versus 1000 bucks...
Then there was another time when I divorced my coffee completely - I was on 3-4 cups of coffee during an office day and it made me feel invariably awful. For a short while I've become an anti-caffeine zealot, not only abstaining from drinking any, but also preaching near and far on eternal damnation unless you quit NOW. I do tend to be weird.
Then two things happened and suddenly coffee stopped being a menace. My days in the office were over, and so was constant stress that goes arm in arm with corporate employment. And I discovered the French press.
Instant coffee is a thing that happens to me very rarely these days and I don't miss it one bit. Now, the glorious, pitch-black liquid that pours out of my French press each morning.... Mmmmm... I don't get out of bed without it (not for longer that it takes to make it, that is). It's not even the caffeine (although I did read that the content is disctinctly higher than that of the instant mud) - it's a feast for the senses. Taste, smell, bitterish smoothness warming my mouth - it was an instant addiction. Trust me, there is no better coffee than French pressed coffee*. Try it out.
*Ok, pressure brewing may rival French press. But it's a question of spending 10 bucks versus 1000 bucks...
Friday, 15 July 2011
How to turn your garbage into a garden
My garden grows mostly in plastic cola bottles, cut in half. There is also a few plastic fruit punnets, a milk carton or two (three? four even?), some profitrole boxes and, until recently, my strawberry seedlings were developing vigorously in a rectangular plastic thing that once held carrot cake. With cream cheese frosting.
See, so far I'm only flirting with gardening love. I'm quite not sure if we'll stay together for life or is it just a one-year stand. Totally conscious of this fact, I thought it foolish to splash out on tens (if not hundreds) of pots and pans from gardening centre. Being permanently broke might have added something to the equation, yes.
When you think of requirements for a growing container, what do you need? It needs to be reasonably waterproof. With a bottom easy to pierce through (whatever you may think, drainage IS important - I've learnt it the hard way). It needs to be fairly big - my experiments of growing radishes in empty egg boxes did not bring satisfactory results. There's a few more requirements but after I've considered them all, the solution presented itself like a good old revelation - GARBAGE BAG! Plenty of good growing pots there.
Primo - plants grow like crazy (see a picture if you don't believe). Secundo - I'm being green, prolonging life of all sorts of rubbish bits for those few months and not adding to the already overflowing landfills. Tertio - I haven't spent a penny. Nothing, nada, it all came my way totally free.
I call it a good deal. How about you?
See, so far I'm only flirting with gardening love. I'm quite not sure if we'll stay together for life or is it just a one-year stand. Totally conscious of this fact, I thought it foolish to splash out on tens (if not hundreds) of pots and pans from gardening centre. Being permanently broke might have added something to the equation, yes.
When you think of requirements for a growing container, what do you need? It needs to be reasonably waterproof. With a bottom easy to pierce through (whatever you may think, drainage IS important - I've learnt it the hard way). It needs to be fairly big - my experiments of growing radishes in empty egg boxes did not bring satisfactory results. There's a few more requirements but after I've considered them all, the solution presented itself like a good old revelation - GARBAGE BAG! Plenty of good growing pots there.
Primo - plants grow like crazy (see a picture if you don't believe). Secundo - I'm being green, prolonging life of all sorts of rubbish bits for those few months and not adding to the already overflowing landfills. Tertio - I haven't spent a penny. Nothing, nada, it all came my way totally free.
I call it a good deal. How about you?
Monday, 11 July 2011
Chocolat
Do you remember the movie Chocolat, starring Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche? I believe that it made quite a stir when it came out back in the year 2000. Definitely from the 'light and pleasant' shelf, yet with this particular kind of magic that makes watching it an unforgettable experience...
Hah, did you notice what a smooth liar I'm becoming? I actually didn't like the movie that much. It was ok, I guess, with Johnny Depp looking stunning as always but not quite reaching the top of his acting abilities, and Juliette being as far as possible from the way I imagined the book's heroine.
Because oh yes, there was a book. While the movie didn't massacre it entirely, it didn't do it justice (as it so often happens). The original Chocolat story, written by Joanne Harris (with her other books being quite worth checking out as well), can boast of having one of the most elegant and wise happy end I've ever seen which is to the movie's ending as Sahara is to Arctic. Don't let the film industry rob you of this treat! Go and grab the book! Now!
Can I use this opportunity to remind you that there are things called libraries in the world and you don't necessary need to buy it? You may want to, eventually (I ended up with having a copy even after I've read it), because it's a rare kind of books that can be read more than once. On the other hand, you may not, and my smart advice (modesty first, always!) can save you space, money and trouble.
If you want to find out more about the book, go and check my review on Squidoo - it's fairly decent.
Oh, and the sequel is not half as good. Sorry, Ms Harris, but you skipped the unconventional (= not sugared up the American style) happy ending bit, and I can't forgive that.
Hah, did you notice what a smooth liar I'm becoming? I actually didn't like the movie that much. It was ok, I guess, with Johnny Depp looking stunning as always but not quite reaching the top of his acting abilities, and Juliette being as far as possible from the way I imagined the book's heroine.
Because oh yes, there was a book. While the movie didn't massacre it entirely, it didn't do it justice (as it so often happens). The original Chocolat story, written by Joanne Harris (with her other books being quite worth checking out as well), can boast of having one of the most elegant and wise happy end I've ever seen which is to the movie's ending as Sahara is to Arctic. Don't let the film industry rob you of this treat! Go and grab the book! Now!
Can I use this opportunity to remind you that there are things called libraries in the world and you don't necessary need to buy it? You may want to, eventually (I ended up with having a copy even after I've read it), because it's a rare kind of books that can be read more than once. On the other hand, you may not, and my smart advice (modesty first, always!) can save you space, money and trouble.
If you want to find out more about the book, go and check my review on Squidoo - it's fairly decent.
Oh, and the sequel is not half as good. Sorry, Ms Harris, but you skipped the unconventional (= not sugared up the American style) happy ending bit, and I can't forgive that.
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