I've been working on concept of 'no bullshit marketing' for quite a while now.
The whole idea was born from the fact that I'm literally sick because of the amount of crap advertising all around. The very word SALE gives me nausea, as it is slowly becoming the case with words like 'unique', 'hot', 'bargain' and the likes. The smell of bullshit surrounding them lingers stubbornly and can fuel my anger for hours at a time.
Ok, fine, but it's damn easy to say something is crappy and do nothing about it and I'm being a bit more ambitious here - I feel a need to suggest something INSTEAD of bullshit marketing. After all I also have a product to 'sell' - I'm a content writer and my very existence depends on my content finding a reader. If I don't talk about it, I am extremely unlikely to be found and there is not much I can do or say to make it less true (a friend of mine keeps suggesting that I show my tits off online - what a shame this is not my style, as it would probably work).
Here comes a difficult question: how to promote my own work knowing how much I hate people promoting their stuff? It looks impossible from the black/white perspective, at first sight the choice is between forgetting conscience and joining the worldwide crap production or quitting self-employment altogether and becoming a cog in someone else's machine (which would probably still equal producing crap, but I would at least have an excuse - someone made me do it!). Neither option looked even remotely interesting, but instead of giving up, I decided to dig deeper.
What if the way a product/service is promoted mattered? I looked closely at other people's marketing strategies and tried to determine some factors that drive me up the wall and guess what I've found - it's definitely not the fact that they do advertise and expect to be paid. Gosh, I don't have a slightest problem with that, just the opposite! So where was the culprit?
Right there, in most promoting materials available, and his name was BULLSHIT.
I hate being lied to. I hate when someone tries to bullshit me for any reason. I refuse to have anything to do with a person or a company who tries to manipulate me and deceive me from the moment we meet. I bet I'm not the only one - possibly I'm slightly more aware of this manipulation, but I'm sure most people would be just as angry as I if they only bothered to notice what's happening around them.
I have already written an article on how to translate bullshit advertising and what do the sellers REALLY tell their customers. You can find it here if you wish - I am quite happy with the way it turned out and I can promise you a laugh or two - so I'm not going to repeat myself in too many words. The biggest, most basic and most hurtful bullshit present in almost all existing advertising is this: we are here for you.
Oh? Are you? So if you win the lottery tomorrow, you will not leave your selling work immediately but continue writing marketing material FOR THE FUN OF IT? Rubbish.
I will believe no seller in the whole wide world who tries to feed me with lines like 'chosen for your satisfaction' and 'our aim is to serve'. What is wrong with saying: I am in this job to earn cash to survive? It is not something shameful, FFS! It's a fact of life - we need money to survive, earn or starve. If a seller believes in providing only high quality service to actually deserve the pay - fantastic. Talk about it! Say it loud and proud, it's a noble aim. But 'we are here to make you happy'? No, thank you, I'm not buying.
I still have a lot to think through before my idea is present in some shape, but I already know one basic, important rule that will be incorporated somewhere in the system: NEVER LIE. Never. Ever. Don't manipulate, don't 'forget' about facts, don't keep the ugly details secret. Transform them, so that you wouldn't have to feel ashamed talking about them. Then talk, with pride.
What do you think? Would you like to live in a world where you could actually believe advertisers instead of being perpetually on the lookout for the small print?
I know I would. And because I vividly remember Gandhi's words 'Be the change you want to see in the world', I'm commiting myself to create a no bullshit marketing strategy.
Wish me luck and hop on if it's your type of a ride.
